In, somewhat huge, celebrity news last week came the legal separation and potential divorce of one of modern culture’s most popular and unlikely couples, Actress Paula Patton and R&B Crooner Robin Thicke. Unlikely? Yes. Unlikely.
Paula, so beautiful, so sexy, so perfect, so silky-skinned and finally, so Black. Something barely even embraced by Mrs. Thicke herself. In an early career interview Paula discussed coming to terms with her Blackness. Born to a Black father and White mother in Los Angeles, Paula struggled with how she was viewed, how she was perceived, until she and her brother; as teenagers, were sat down by their parents and showered with the love that had always filled their home and leveled with. A parent’s love will always be enduring and everlasting, but the world will always view you as Black people. Embrace it. Love it. And most importantly, use it to your advantage.
Now, up until that point, Paula had been hiding her relationship with high school sweetheart Robin Thicke- even refusing to take him to prom because he was white and she was President of the Black Student Union. Something he resented, but quite clearly respected. Robin was patient and knew his love for Paula would someday see the light. Oh my, how the tables have turned.
Now, you may not see it that way. You may even want to jump to use the word Karma: That nasty little, slick thing that comes back around to bite you- but not this. No, this is everything, but that. No one ever said, “when you let the cat out the bag, he really only goes a few feet away.” In fact, has anyone seen that cat lately?
Searching. Wondering. Contemplating. All these are classic signs of being unsure. This is not love. This is something else. There’s really no such thing as a hidden relationship, that’s something else too. It’s called: Nothing. A relationship is meant to be on display of the Grand Stage of Life. However, society builds up so much insecurity in the heart, sometimes relationships just can’t be themselves. Instead we lie, cheat, hurt and manipulate the relationship so much so that it’s very basic ingredient, love, is presumably sellable, buyable, unaffected and its most classical disguise, pretend.
A relationship is a situation between two people; or one person and one thing. Manipulation is not a requirement of love. In fact, it’s a diluting agent of love. Right now is a perfect time to take all the extra dressing off of love. Take off the price tag and clear the deed of love. Move from the shade and into the light of love. Patch the holes with more love and remove the sunglasses from love. Just stand in the way of love to be struck by love with that one person or that one thing. You and love standing there all naked, sure of each other, in everybody’s view. They’ll call it in its name: “Relationship!” All up in the way! Witcho’ bad self!
– Lauren Michaels